Our culture paints a picture of the holiday season as overflowing dinner tables, presents wrapped with bows, sparkling lights and joyful reunions with family and friends—after all, it’s “the most wonderful time of the year.” This emphasis on togetherness can be a painful reminder for those experiencing the loss of a loved one or a home that has been left behind. For many older adults who have transitioned into nursing homes or SNFs, the holiday season can amplify feelings of sadness and loss.
By providing seniors with the proper care they need, families and staff can support residents through the holiday season even if they are experiencing grief. Let’s take a look at a few ways that we can support seniors during this time.
Understanding How Loss is Amplified
Around the holidays, certain objects, sounds, or events can intensify grief. When the familiar sound of seasonal music returns, stronger emotions may rise now. The sight or scent of ceramic ornaments or a menorah, or a holiday movie once enjoyed in a room full of family, can bring back memories from years that felt warmer.
These triggers can stir sudden memories and remind them of a time that feels different now. Societal expectations to be cheerful and happy can cause residents to question why they don’t feel the same way. Other residents may be watching visitors come in, as they themselves receive few or no visitors. For someone who is longing to spend time with their loved ones, this can be a reminder of their current circumstances and losses.
Common Types of Loss
For seniors, the pain of the holidays often forces them to come face-to-face with losses they have faced, including the following:
- Loss of a spouse or loved one.
- Loss of one's own health and physical ability.
- Loss of the ability to host and maintain their own traditions.
Core Support Strategies for Grief During the Holidays
The most important thing that you can do is to recognize their pain. Do not try to “fix it” or distract them. They are allowed to feel grief. Be sure to use open, empathetic language, telling them that “This must be a very painful time for you,” or “It is completely understandable that you feel this way right now.”
You can invite seniors to share personal stories about past holidays and loved ones. Instead of a subtle distraction, create a space that lets their memories stay present. Looking through photo albums together or asking a question about a tradition they cherished can open the conversation. Give their loss clear acknowledgment; this will help reduce the pressure many seniors feel to hide the grief they carry.
Keep visits adaptable to the resident’s energy levels. Many seniors who face grief or cognitive fatigue do not benefit from long visits, so the instinct to stay longer often creates the opposite effect, turning into emotional strain or physical discomfort. Visitors who want to support a loved one well can watch for non-verbal signs of fatigue or distress like yawning, restlessness and difficulty tracking the conversation.
Ways To Adapt Holiday Traditions in a Facility Setting
While facilities may not look exactly like home, they provide another space to create and continue meaningful holiday traditions. Instead of having an entire decorated tree, the resident may be able to have a mini tree or other holiday decorations that still evoke positive feelings. If they are mourning someone, help them set up a small photo display on a table. It gives them a physical place to direct their feelings.
Engage your residents, while giving them space if it is needed. Writing cards, eating fresh-baked treats, or listening to holiday music are great sensory activities. For those truly struggling, isolation is sometimes better than forced socialization. If a resident wants to skip the group party, let them. Don't make them feel guilty about staying in their room if that is what they need to cope.
Simple Activities to Honor the Season
You don’t need grand gestures to spark a good memory; often, quiet and sensory-focused activities bring the most comfort.
- Stream a specific religious service or mass
- Wrap small gifts or empty boxes
- Sit in front of a fireplace
- Sort through loose family photographs
- Watch a favorite classic film
- Decorate a small tabletop tree or wreath
- Frost sugar cookies or cupcakes
- Write holiday cards to old friends
- Read a holiday poem or story
- Arrange holiday flowers or poinsettias
- Sip hot cocoa or cider while looking out the window
When Professional Support is Essential
Grief is normal during the holidays. But if you see that cloud hanging over a resident in late January, February, and even March, they are not dealing with just grief anymore. Clinical depression is a common mental illness faced in nursing homes that often goes undiagnosed. Are they withdrawing socially? Have they stopped eating? Are they sleeping more than usual? These are the red flags to be looking out for. On-site mental health support in SNFs provides residents with the support they require to effectively manage grief.
A Call to Compassion and Support
If you are looking for professional mental health support in your facility, Pacific Coast Psychology is ready to partner with you. We proudly offer on-site geriatric mental health services and work closely with your team to ensure your staff can focus on providing the care your residents deserve. Contact Pacific Coast Psychology today.
